Are your Values in Overdrive or Conflict?

Are your values in overdrive or conflict?

One of the very first jobs I had was a ‘pinch me, I must be dreaming’ kind of job. Totally unreal and still to this day one of my most favourite ever. In fact as I get a little older, it’s the one I look back at now and am so grateful for, because it enabled me to live all my values. At the time though, at barely 20 years old I didn’t realise that was what was going on – I was in my bubble world working hard ‘living the dream’ – out of uni and doing my thing.

Playing pirate on the Bounty – the Tallship, was the perfect training ground for learning about life and leadership with captains, first mates, crew etc.

It was fun, an incredible experience every day, there was masses of connection, I was fit and healthy, it was creativity on steroids (performing as a pirate all day long and as well we could probably count coiling ropes and making them look nice as artistic 😉 and it was a sense of achievement (one of only 2 females onboard and mostly scared out of my wits climbing high into the rigging and furling sails every day amongst other achievements).

Now you may well think, that wouldn’t tick your bucket list and that’s right, it may not, because we’re all different and what we value in a workplace or in life generally is and can be very different.

These 6 values are and have been my life long values – they’re really important for me to live day and in day out: fun, experiences, connection, health, creativity and achievement. Whether at work or at home too…

As I said, your values are a truly personal and a unique thing to you!

They are what drive you, light you up and give you joy.

They are what’s REALLY important to you.

If someone isn’t sharing commonality with you on your values, it can cause upset, anger and conflict. Hot buttons are pressed. Big time.

So as a young girl, new into the workplace, I got very lucky first time round with such an environment and job role that really helped me live my values. I also discovered wonderful leaders, unique in their way, however it was a great thriving and interesting environment.

I was able to be who I am and what do what I love.

Whilst my role now is quite different, in essence I’m still living those values, yet in different ways.

So is your environment letting you live your values?

Are you choosing to live your values despite the environment?

Have you chosen to surround yourself with people that honour your values, or hinder you living your values, even if you both (all) acknowledge your differences?

If your hot buttons are being pressed, rather than being alarmed, be curious instead.

Ask a couple of questions…

What shift can I make right now to meet my values differently?

Am I clear on what my values actually are?

Are my values working for me, in overdrive or in conflict currently?

Expecting others to fulfil your values for you, is an unnecessary expectation on others.

I think it’s important to understand – how values can be working for you and against you as well.

For example.

If you desire to achieve – does it mean you operate in over-achiever mode sometimes or more often – then it might feel exhausted trying to keep up with those expectations or that others never quite live up to your own desire for high-achievement.

If you desire connection – does it mean you want to be friends with everyone or without meaning too, you end up attempting (somewhat unsuccessfully) to keep everyone happy and go into people pleaser mode – you might find yourself having your boundaries crossed, or worse still your voice not being heard, or you feel stepped all over, because people get away with murder or you’ve gone quiet, stopped speaking up, being clear and articulate, because you’re a little war-wounded. The battles take their toll. You end up feeling the victim or playing the martyr to compensate.

These are just a couple of quick examples, how when we’re caught up in the doing and forget about the living of our values, we can get into over-drive and it doesn’t feel great.

So as the sunsets on another day for you, think back to times when your young 20 year old self.

What young wise advice would they remind you of?

What would they say to you now?

My young self says, despite it all, remember to have fun, smile and trust!

Big love


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