Big Brave Tall Strong

Have you ever experienced “Petrification”?

It’s a feeling. The feeling of being so petrified, it’s like a bubbling, overwhelming sensation that comes up, rushing through your body in some way shape or form.

Was talking about it with a client today.

She brought in the draft of her new book. It looks sensational.

And boy oh boy does it pack a punch.

It is such an important book filling the gap with what’s desperately needed to support, educate and inspire her market. Not only is it a book, there is a website platform, social media, forums and more.

What was fascinating now though, was her feeing of Petrification… the worry about judgement, fear of criticism and a good dose of what if it’s not good enough as well.

It sucks.

She has had such an incredible achievement, yet wham another big rolling wave of anxiety.

Because the work has only just begun now.

That is why having a team around you is critical. To support, mentor and cheer for you when you are creating, leading and building a business.

I remember when I had finally brought The Art of Extraordinary Coaching Cards to life. The thrill, the exhilaration, then reality hit when I realised what was ahead of me. A huge cavern of learning and growth to go through to market and sell the product.

Every step of the way in business, whether you’re 20 days, 2 or 20 years in, there is so much to learn. There are stages and phases of business growth that will be easier and quicker, others slower and more painful.

Here’s what I’ve used as my ‘how-to’ get around that feeling of Petrification:

Step 1) Do you have a really kickass, motivating and inspiring WHY?

I though mine was pretty good, till I heard Tony Robbins talk about his on a Netflix video about his obsession to end suffering for another human being. Millions of humans later. That got me thinking…. Your WHY must really REALLY make you want to get out of bed for it, leap hurdles and walk across hot coals. He did … literally.

So what are you REALLY REALLY REALLY passionate about?

Now maybe you’ve been in biz a bit longer, worked hard and you’re feeling a little jaded on the journey. Or maybe you’re starting out. No matter, rekindle that obsession. Re-find that passion for your WHY and the problem you and your business is solving for the world.

Step 2) Acknowledge Nagging Nancy

So it’s her nickname, she’s the doubter, worrier, judge… that is your unconscious – doing its job to protect you. She wants to keep you safe, likely to keep people happy, avoid conflict and probably doesn’t want to get found out that she may know as much as everyone things.

Please acknowledge her, she’s you and is keeping you safe.

Let her know you’re ok to take the risk, ok to step out of your comfort zone and you’re ready for the challenge. And you’re up for the continuing challenges, because in business they keep on coming and rolling around day after day after day.

Now, here’s the big one, you have to let her know you’re ok, because your WHY is greater than your concern, worry or fear of getting it wrong, maybe floppin’ and making a fool of yourself. It’s worth the risk, because what you’re passionate about, the people you help, look after and the lives you change, improve and transform, are so worth it. They matter more…

Step 3) Have an awesome plan to keep you moving forward

Momentum is super powerful and often people flounder and procrastinate in business because they simply do not have a plan. That plan needs to include values (the compass) that keeps you headed in the right direction. It will have goals, targets and measures. Clear, focused and tangible. Oh I hear you say…. We don’t have time for goal setting… it’s not my thing, it’s not our thing.

In the words of Benjamin Franklin, “Failing to plan is planning to fail”.

Your plan, that for your team and individuals, depending on how they’re motivated may find focusing on what you don’t want more enticing. You move quicker and more effectively based on knowing exactly what you don’t want for your business, team or self. So use that style of planning.

Eg. Not working 80 hour weeks, Not doing it all alone, Not missing kids assemblies, Not having a frustrating team member, Not being a team of 2 anymore, Not dealing with the HR nightmares, Not maximising best use of hours

When you know what you don’t want, it can be a bloody brilliant driving force, which will move you away from that. That push will create momentum in itself.

Remember your awesome plan will need bite-sized chunks. Ever seen anyone eat and elephant whole? No, break it down bite size chunks, think of an apple. Small baby-steps.

Does your plan include team? Are you attempting to do it all solo? Have you got great people surrounding and supporting you? Is it time to move people off the team, because they are not supporting your passion and purpose?

Do they need to have the same passion? Nope, but they do have to have some and they’ve got to be committed to change and transformation for your same tribe, otherwise, it will feel like you’re in different buses, on different highways, heading in opposite directions.

Get rid of the tyre kickers too, they’re causing more damage to the bus than good.

So, if you find yourself feeling petrified. Big decisions to make. Momentum to create, yet you’re in that awful state of petrification.

Stop, breathe and drink some water (hydrate your brain!)

Then run through the steps, in summary

Step 1 – Have an obsessive and committed WHY

Step 2 – Acknowlege Nagging Nancy and let her know you’re all good

Step 3 – Design a plan for growth and success that drives the whole team forward

It will take being big and brave to overcome the doubts and fear.

It will take being strong and tall to achieve your vision. It’s so worth it.

Gen “Be You” Matthews


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